On Grief and This Damn Virus

Since my husband’s death in late 2018, I have been dealing with grief.  I did other times with other losses prior to his death, but his is the one that has affected me the most.  So, I know something about grief and trying to put the pieces back together.

I have been thinking of all of the changes in our lives due to this damn corona virus.  There have been so many changes and they may continue for a while.  I am realizing that there is a lot that we need to grieve and then be able to move forward.

Merriam-Webster defines grief as:

  • 1adeep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement 
  • 1ba cause of such suffering — life’s joys and griefs
  • 2a: trouble and annoyance

These definitions are appropriate and part of what we are dealing with right now.

I think that social distancing is very important to slow and hopefully stop the spread of this virus which seems to be spreading more and more each day.  It is something that many of us can do in order to help those on the front lines become equipped to deal with it and all of the illnesses that people have.

Still, it is hard since we are so used to always being on the go, being with our friends and family, and not having to think twice of when we come and go.  I think it is important to deal with this grief and the fact that our life is just not the same now.  I also think that we can do that and then move on and make the best of our situations.  At least, I am praying for that to be the case.

My heart aches and breaks for those who are losing loved ones because of this virus. It saddens me that they can’t be with them at the hospital to say goodbye, or be at the funeral home to make plans, or have a funeral or memorial since it isn’t safe.  As hard as all of that was for me, I am fortunate that I had that chance.

I am thinking of the high school seniors who cannot see their classmates, friends and teachers and enjoy the times of being the big men and women on campus.  I am heartbroken for college students who had to pack up their dorms, go back home, and do online classes.  They should be able to enjoy life away and go to a lecture hall full of other students.

I am thinking of the middle school and high school students who don’t have the chance to see their friends in the hallway between classes, or at lunch, or at the many activities that they enjoy — sports, the arts, music, and clubs.

I am thinking of the elementary school student who doesn’t understand why they cannot go to school and see their friends and their teachers. They want to be there to read something and to color and sit on the floor at story time.

I am also thinking of all of the nurses and doctors and other medical staff who are on the front lines of this.  They are why we have to be home.  They are why our lives have been upended.  They have to be able to treat those who need the help without worrying that they don’t have enough beds or supplies to do so.

I am thinking of all of those out of work right now and struggling to pay their bills.  My hope is that they can find something in the meantime or get help from others.  Food is being provided at various agencies and many companies are waiving bills and shut offs for now.  So that is good.

I am thinking of those who are still having to work in other industries and not sure if it is safe or not.  Thanks to them for continuing to keep what we need going.  We appreciate you and your sacrifices.

I am thinking of the teachers, principals, school boards, and other educators working frantically to have at-home school options for students.  They are working hard to ensure that all kids have what they need to keep learning.  It has been a challenge and is taking time but is important.

I am thinking of our leaders and officials working with the medical professionals to try and do the best by us.  Granted there are problems, but they are trying.  After all, this is unprecedented, never-before-seen stuff.

I am thinking of our elderly at home or in nursing homes or assisted living when visiting is not permitted.  Perhaps we can do it through a window, or with regular phone calls, or with letters.  We should check with each facility or those at home and our doctors to see what to do.

My prayer is that we can all try to deal with the changes in our lives and then figure out what we can do to help.  We are in this together and are dependent on one another now like never before.  May we be considerate of others, help as needed and as we can, and may we still try to find some fun and happiness, despite no much negative.

If we can sew, let’s do that.  If we can provide some food or money to a local food bank, let’s do that.  If we can call our friends and check in on our loved ones, let’s do that.  If we can gather our families together online, let’s do that.  If we can buy just enough for what we need without hoarding, let’s do that.

May we work on this together, although we are apart.  May we help one another.  And, may we always, always love.