On loss and Valentine’s Day

I Still Wonder – Patti Cates / Art created by Ian

Tomorrow is February 14 — Valentine’s Day. A day to celebrate love, your partner, and to do something special. A day that is special for lovers and for those in love. I hope that those in love enjoy the day and the time be together.

This time is so very special and is often taken for granted. My hope and prayer for all those who have a Valentine is to appreciate one another and to be thankful for one another. Also, please celebrate one another on more than just Valentine’s Day. After all, each day together is precious and you never know when one of you will no longer be there.

For those without a spouse, significant other, boyfriend or girlfriend, I hope you know and remember that you are loved and special. Please don’t be depressed about this day but instead do something special for yourself. This can be done by celebrating with your friends and your family. That is what I will be doing.

This year, I am very thankful that Kirk and I didn’t make Valentine’s Day the ultimate in romantic days for us. If we had, it would be an extremely painful day for me. He did not like the idea of just one day to be romantic or to send one another a special card or go out. He also didn’t like how everything costs more on Valentine’s Day than other days.  Neither did I.

We celebrated each other just because. He would give me flowers just because. We would go out to eat at a favorite restaurant just because. We would listen to a special song just because. We did exchange cards and used a few more than once for Valentine’s Day.

We both liked the Love Chapter from the Bible. It was very precious to us and we had it read at our wedding. I asked for it to be read again at Kirk’s memorial service and I cried as it was read. This is what love should be.  We were by no means perfect and did have our issues. But as I have said before, there was always love.

” Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” — 1st Corinthians 13:4-8.

Some upcoming days will be harder than tomorrow will be for me. These include: the day we met, when he proposed, his birthday, the day we got married, when Ian was born, special summer vacation times, and our holidays with our own traditions. I still miss him each day and cannot believe he is gone. Some days are better than others and others include real pain. I have a feeling it will be that way for a while.

No matter if you have someone special in your life or not, I hope you have a good and Happy Valentine’s Day! Blessings to you and yours.

A few quotes about Valentine’s Day and love:

  • “Oh! if it be to choose and call thee mine, Love, thou art every day my Valentine.”
    ~ Thomas Hood
  • “Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end.” ~ Author Unknown
  • “I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.” ~ Author Unknown
  • “We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.” ~ Robert Fulghum
  • “Grow old with me! The best is yet to be. ~ Robert Browning
  • “True love stories never have endings.” ~ Richard Bach

Happy Anniversary Kirk!

Our Wedding Day“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” – from 1st Corinthians 13

Happy 17th Anniversary to my hubby Kirk! Here we are on our wedding day.  We were married at the church where we met. The pastor who married us was my pastor as I was growing up, he confirmed me, and is a longtime family friend. His message to us about love and marriage was the perfect start for us. Also, we heard a reading from 1st Corinthians 13 about love.

My aunt who is an amazing pianist played some special family songs prior to the wedding, and our dear family and friends were there to cheer us on and celebrate the start of our family.  And, the choir sang us a blessing at the end of the wedding.  It was such a special day.

At our reception, a dear friend was the caterer and the food was terrific. She made the two of us plates of food. We then enjoyed them that night at our condo. I danced with both Kirk and my dad at the reception and visited with some great people. We also had time with our family and so many others.

Since then we have had a great marriage. We are a team and work well together.  Not to say things are perfect but we have found our groove and truly compliment each other. We have been through struggles and hard times and have learned a lot over the years. I am so thankful for Kirk and blessed to be his wife. I didn’t meet him until I was 30 years old. When I did, my entire life changed and he was well worth the wait.

I love this man truly and deeply and love that we have such a wonderful child. These two guys are amazing blessings to me. My favorite place to be is with these two at our house – whether it is talking as we wake up in the morning to hugs and giggles before bed, whether it is eating our breakfast to munching on popcorn as we watch a favorite movie.

This year we celebrate 17 years of married life. The gifts for this anniversary are furniture, shells, and watches. We recently purchased new couches and we collected shells while at the beach. So those gifts are covered. It is funny that I was thinking about getting a new watch.  I can call it another anniversary gift.

A few quotes about marriage:

  • Newlyweds become oldyweds, and oldyweds are the reasons that families work. ~ Author Unknown
  • The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds — they mature slowly. ~ Peter De Vries
  • A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. ~ Paul Sweeney
  • Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day. ~ Gene Perret

How do I love thee Kirk, let me count the ways.  I love your sense of humor, I love our jokes and inside stories, I love your strength, I love that you help so much at our home, I love that you are my soul mate and love for life. I love that you are such an amazing father to our son. I love you and always will.

The Greatest of These is Love

Our Wedding DayHappy Valentine’s Day to you!

There are many things I could write about Valentine’s Day, but the main one is that the day is all about love.  Love is a beautiful and wonderful thing.

I love the people in my life.  They include my husband, my son, my parents, siblings, in-laws, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and friends.  All of these people are dear to me and well loved.  Each one holds a special place in my heart!!

The best definition of love to me is the Love Chapter in the Bible — 1st Corinthians 13.  At my wedding to Kirk, this chapter was read.  It was meaningful then as it is now.  The picture is from our wedding.  As you can see we look like kids.

This chapter is quoted below from the New International Version——-

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

“If I give all that I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

“Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.

“But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; and where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

“For we know in part and we prophecy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When  I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.  Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

“And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love.  But the greatest of these is love.”

I especially like the part that says — love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Think about that — always loving like that can be tough at times but that is exactly what love is.

On this Valentine’s Day, I hope you can appreciate this kind of love if you have it in your life.  If not, I hope and pray that you will find it one day.  God Bless!!