I don’t know about you but we had a quick summer. We had fun, we traveled, we enjoyed some time at home, we enjoyed having time to read several good books, we took lots of walks or rode bikes, and we spent time with many friends and family — both on my side and Kirk’s side.
Now, we are back home winding it down. After a lot of time with a lot of people, it is a odd to be back home again with just the two of us. Kirk’s absence is always felt more when we are here since we enjoyed so much time with him. So, our days have some sadness along with the happiness.
We had three two-week trips and each one had special times and moments. The first trip was in North Carolina and was primarly for work. We enjoyed seeing clients, working with them and their students, as well as some fun and down time. Ian was given a new Lego set to build and had a great time with that.
We also had time to visit our favorite used bookstore, toy store, bakery, and frozen yogurt shop. We had several meals out and many long chats and watched a few favorite shows. Ian also discovered some new vegetarian foods that he likes.
After that we went to Kentucky to work with the second generation of a family that Kirk used to work with and several other families who knew him for a while. It was nice to talk with them about him and how great he was with their kids. We also visted the Creation Museum which was quite something. Our hotel was very nice and we were able to enjoy several great meals.
Our third trip was to San Diego and it was fabulous. We had time with friends and family, lots of hugs, some tears, some laughter, great food, lovely sunsets, cool weather, a trip to the mountains, and beach time.
This beach is one that I have been going to since I was a baby. I have decades of fond memories both from my childhood and from when Kirk and I took Ian. My memory is very long of this magical place that feels like Brigadoon.
We went to a baseball game and that was a blast. It was Atlanta Braves vs. San Diego Padres. The home team didn’t win but it was still fun. It was Ian’s first time to a major league ball park and he enjoyed it very much.
All in all it was a great summer with a lot of fun memories made and photos taken. Still, it is odd to think of our twosome, instead of the family of three that we used to be. We so wish he could have been with us. We celebrated him and felt his presence on a few occasions.
This summer, for the first time after his passing, we celebrated Kirk’s birthday. It was odd celebrating it without him. Last year, we had a big meal, we sang happy birthday to him, he blew out the candles and we ate a delicious cake with ice cream. This year, we went out to eat at the Corvette Diner in his honor.
The food was great, the company superb, the arcade games fun, and we sang again in his honor. It was bittersweet but so very special. I loved that my family and friends made a point to honor him in such a fun way. The place was quite loud but Kirk would have loved it.
Now, we are trying to get back to our routine and soon school will start. I will soon have a lot of alone time. I am trying to prep myself for that now. Sometimes, it is good since I can cry or yell if needed. And trust me, there are such days that I need. Other times, it is hard and sad and painful. But, I continue to try each day.
Over the summer, I received some lovely compliments from my loved ones that meant a lot. One was that I am strong. Another that I am a rock for my son. I try to be both but do have my moments when I feel weak or that I am failing him. I continue to try my best and provide as Kirk and I wanted for us and our son.
And I am trying to realize that I can only do so much. So, I choose what needs to be done each day and go for it. Some days are productive, some days are wonderful, some days are melancholy. Then, when tomorrow comes, I can do more and hope that it all gets accomplished in the end.
May we have a blessed rest of the summer — however long that may be. If you are grieving, may you be comforted. May we realize that we cannot do everything and that is okay. Let’s do what we can. May we have those who are there with us in the good and bad times. And, may we always, always love.