51 Weeks And Counting…

51 weeks ago… I cannot believe that it is almost an entire year since my husband passed away.  It just doesn’t seem possible.  In some ways, the time has flown by and in others it has dragged along.

This year’s Thanksgiving will be the last of the firsts.  He died soon after Thanksgiving last year.  But this year, the anniversary date of his death is before the holiday.  So, it will be a tough time for us.  But, we will be with family and able to remember him.

Ian and I will be with both sides of our family and that means a lot to me.  I expect lots of crying and some laughter as well.  I look forward to the time we will have to be together.  It is indeed a blessing.  It will help to share memories and if needed, to cry together.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.   I like that this holiday is about being with loved ones and enjoying delicious food that everyone helped make.  There is also time to chat, play games, watch games, or whatever people want to do.  And, we say what we are thankful for around a prayer circle prior to eating.

I know it will be a challenge this year so I am trying to just let myself feel what I need to.  Along with that, I keep going and take care of what Ian and I need.  It continues to be a challenge, but we are trying.

One step at a time.  One week at a time.  One day at a time.  One hour at a time.  One memory at a time.  One funny story at a time.  One sobbing at a time.  One prayer at a time.

Along with my loss, I have friends and family who are also grieving for loved ones who have died.  My prayers are with them as are my thoughts.  In addition, I have loved ones who are suffering, are in chronic pain, being treated for cancer and other ailments, are depressed, and are dealing with financial issues.  My thoughts and prayers are also with them.

To everyone who has helped Ian and me this past year, I thank you.  I thank you for your support, for your caring, for listening, for checking in on us, for feeding us, for sharing a story about Kirk, for laughing with us, for crying with us, for praying for us, for praying with us, and for loving us.  We couldn’t have made it this year without you.

For those also suffering, I hope you have people to step up and be there with you in the bad times and enjoy the good times.  It took me a while after Kirk’s loss to realize that it was okay to still have good times and to carry on.  I felt guilty but know that he wouldn’t want us to suffer or be sad all of the time.  May you also know that it is okay to keep moving forward and to have a little fun along with the sorrow.

And for those in pain, having treatments, waiting for the diagnosis, and so many other issues, I lift you up in prayer.  I ask that you be comforted, that questions be answered, that you will be helped, and that you will be surrounded by love and support.

Let’s help each other through our suffering and pain.  Let’s spread kindness and be supportive.  Let’s remember that we all have trials to deal with so we should not judge each other.  Let’s be there for each other.  And, let’s always, always love.

Author’s Note: The calendar picture and healing prayer are from Power Point clip art. The date was just on the picture and has no particular meaning.