Teaching Our Kids About Frustration and Loss

I hope and pray that we adults can show the kids that despite being frustrated and lost, that there are still good things in life. We can show them that is okay to be upset and that we aren’t always super strong about things in our lives.

We should give them and ourselves time to process these terrible things and deal with them. If we need to cry, then let’s cry. If we need to scream, let’s scream. Let’s feel what we need to feel.

What we shouldn’t do is start being unreasonable or completely awful and hateful to those that we love or those that we don’t know. All that does is cause more conflict and hurt for others. Finding that line can be hard since we sometimes feel like we are unraveling. But let’s remember to treat others with kindness. We should remember that for ourselves as well.

Let’s be a safe place for our young people and help them deal with the issues and problems that they have. My son and his friends are dealing with things I never thought of as a teenager. It boggles the mind how different some things are. Yet, stress and anxiety have always been there. I just hope and pray that we can deal with it and help them deal with it as well.

In sports, there are winning teams and losing teams. In the Olympics, a runner or a swimmer can lose by less than a second and that is the difference between a gold medal and a silver medal. Knowing this, the athletes continue to compete. They know that there are wins and losses. They are thrilled with the wins and upset about the losses. Hopefully they can learn from the times they lose. Hopefully all of us can.

The same is true in politics, acting, and applying for jobs. We don’t always get the title we want, the part we want, or the office we want. If we don’t get those things, let’s remember to be kind anyway. Let’s also remember to be sensible and not accuse others of cheating or stealing it from us. If there is a problem, actual evidence of a wrong-doing should be presented and reviewed.

We can continue to teach our kids/teens/young people how to be kind winners and losers. They need to be good sports. For that matter, so do we as adults. We could all use the reminder to lose gracefully.

We also could remember to win gracefully and without being know-it-alls or rubbing someone’s face in the fact. Let’s also not be those parents that scream hatefully on the sidelines at a game. Let’s instead cheer on our teams, no matter the outcome. 

Let’s also encourage our young people to finish what they need to, to try as hard as they can, to live up to their promises to others, and to support their friends, classmates, and teammates. We can support others and also may learn some empathy along the way. 

I hope and pray that we can be examples to the next generation of how to treat one another. I mean a good example instead of one that shows them what not to do. Many of our youth know this far better than we do. Perhaps we can learn from them as well.

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