Say What?!!

questionHave you ever been told something by someone who so floored you, you were speechless?

I had that experience recently.  And, boy was it a surprise.

A week or so ago I mentioned that I have a negative person in my life.   Well, this person recently told me during a heated argument that I am an extremely selfish person and all I think about is myself.  The person didn’t say this to me, but instead yelled it to me.

My first thought was “that sure is the pot calling the kettle black” since this person is borderline narcissistic.  After that comment, I was so stunned, I honestly didn’t have anything to say in return.  I did think to myself, I often put my husband and son ahead of others in my life.  Is that being selfish or being a good wife and mother?  That in itself is something to ponder.

My next thought was, am I selfish? I have never thought of myself as being selfish.  By no means am I perfect, but this was a shocking thing to hear.

I am bad about sending out thank you notes in a timely manner, I don’t keep in touch with friends and family as much as I would like to, I get busy and often forget to contact loved ones, I procrastinate about things, I am messy, and sometimes lazy, and the list goes on.  But, I have always tried to be kind to and considerate of others.

Prior to this argument, I had been worried about the health and well-being of several family members and friends and have been praying for them.  My mind was focused on them but my actions and words apparently did come across as I wanted them to during this heated discussion.

Having been yelled at, I was livid, as you can imagine.  But you know what my third thought was?  A person like this is the very one that I am called as a Christian to love and pray for.  Jesus told us to love all people, including those who frustrate and anger us.

I have to admit how hard that is to do with this particular person.  The more you keep hearing something negative from someone, the harder it is to like and even talk to the other person.

I do know, without a doubt, that I need to try to do just that.  I will only be able to with the love and heart of Jesus.

There are some extenuating circumstances at work here.  This particular person eats a lot of carbs and sugars, drinks wine regularly, and very little protein.  And, there seems to be stress and other health problems at work for this person.

I have been praying for the person for a long time now and will continue to do so.  Lord, please give me the strength to do that and keep trying to love this person.  Amen.

How about you?  Do you have someone in your life who is difficult?  How do you deal with it?  I’d love to hear from you and hear about some suggestions.

2 thoughts on “Say What?!!

  1. Patti,
    Okay, first of all, I’ve known you for how many years now? Coming up on 27? I’ve seen you in all sorts of situations and even roomed with you….you have never come across as someone who is selfish. ( I mean we all have our moments, but selfish is NOT the word that even remotely comes to mind when thinking of you……messy, maybe…..just teasing:)
    I have had to deal with some very difficult people in my life, too. I did try praying for them, and quite frankly it was very difficult. I have to remind myself over and over…..for all have sinned and fallen short…..Jesus loves that person too.Even when he/she is mean to me. Sigh.
    Sometimes it is best to not be rude, but keep your distance from the hurtful person. We can forgive a person, and still be civil with them, without being best buddies with them. You know what I mean…..
    I don’t know if that is possible in your case, but just a thought……
    Anyway……you have tons of people that love you and think you are awesome. Just remember that!

    • Thanks Dawn! I love ya! 27 years we’ve known each other! OMG. How is that possible!!! Yes, I am messy and I admit. But thank you. I was floored as well.

      I agree that it is difficult to pray for this person but we are supposed to.

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